Developing a positive attitude

Fixating on thoughts and emotions, day in day out, affects all aspects of our lives. Learning to be mindful of our “internal dialogue” helps us recognize thought patterns and how they may be affecting the way we handle the situations of daily living.

Many people have found that, when they tune in to their internal dialogue, much of it is negative. Thoughts like, “I could never do that” and “What if I fail?” can seriously impact the way we behave. Stress, apparently associated with attachment to this negative internal dialogue, in turn, affects every aspect of our lives.

When we are stressed, specific hormones circulate in the body. Released infrequently, these hormones are harmless, produced continuously, they are associated with serious damage. Cardiovascular disease is related in part to continuous bombardment of stress hormones and arterial damage caused by free radicals created in the process.

Letting go of attachment to these negative thoughts and emotions is liberating. This is a process in itself that is well worth the effort. Very effective methods to help to place the mind at ease have been developed over thousands of years. Perhaps Meditation would benefit.

Realizing a Life of Ease and Well Being

1. Be still. Look within. See the mental restlessness, dissatisfaction and uncertainty?
2. There are apparent causes of this view of unease.
3. Know that within there is the potential to be at ease.
4. Finally, attaining mental openness is associated with full knowing and ease.

The following tips will help you along the way to freedom from the habitual tendencies of mind that hold you back from experiencing true happiness and ease. Inevitably it is your own personal journey.

Sleep more soundly!

Sleep appears essential to improve and maintain energy levels, immune system effectiveness, mental and emotional clarity and overall well-being. When you feel good, you function better.

The following tips are very useful if you need to sleep better!

• Try Meditation
• Minimize attaching to mental activity in the evening.
• Make appropriate preparations for the next day.
• Take a hot bath before bedtime to promote ease.
• Soothing fragrances, lights, and music may help as well.
• Limit activities in bed to sleep and intimate encounters only - avoid TV.
• If you have trouble sleeping, try sleeping in another area of the house.
• Try listening to repetitive soothing natural sounds (waves, wind, waterfall, stream, etc.) from a selected high quality sound device.
• Natural homeopathic, nutritional and herbal support may prove useful (e.g. calcium, melatonin, passionflower or valerian before bed).
• Turn off all the lights.

*Melatonin (key hormone involved in sleep/repair cycles) production may be inhibited if you sleep with the lights on.

 

Develop your positive attitude!

Here are some ways to help you cultivate a positive attitude and ease in your life:

• Listen to internal dialogue. Divide one or more sheets of paper into two columns and, for a few days, jot down in the left column all the negative thoughts that come into your head. Rewrite each thought in a positive way in the second column. Practice doing this in your mind until it becomes a habit. (For example, “I’ll never get this finished by the end of the day!” could become, “I will probably get most of this finished by the end of the day.”)
• Learn to communicate. Not saying the things we feel can lead to a sense of frustration, hurt, anger or anxiety. If you find communicating difficult, or are afraid of arguments or bruised feelings, take a course in communicating effectively always having the intent of non-harm.
• Get back to basics. Reconnect with old friends, take the dog for a walk, visit an art gallery or listen to your favourite music. Enjoy a long, relaxing bath, read a great book, tell your child a story, or ask an older relative to tell you one! The simplest things in life give us the most pleasure.
• Help someone out. The simple act of helping others (humans, animals or Nature in general) helps us to feel joy. Pick up groceries for an aging neighbour, volunteer at your local hospital or read a book to someone with failing eyesight. If you are unsure of how to help out in your community, call your nearest volunteer centre.
• Find your spirituality. Research has shown that those who have developed their spirituality through associating with other spiritual individuals or having cooperative mindful beliefs, live longer, more satisfying lives. The secret is practising those beliefs, either through organized worship, or simple meditation (openness) in a quiet place.
• Try Meditation.
• As the Beatles and many sages of the spiritual and philosophical traditions have expounded, "Let It Be, Let it Be"
• Allow love in your life. The ability to love and be loved is a most basic human trait. We, as a society, seem to have become disconnected - fear-based emotions (depression, loneliness, guilt, attachment and anger) are symptoms. Finding cooperative and harmonious ways to reconnect with others is extremely helpful in developing a positive attitude.
• Laugh at yourself and find humour in the simplest of things. Laughter is a powerful mood elevator. If you are feeling down, read some jokes, watch a funny movie or just act "silly" once in awhile. At times, let yourself see through a child's genuine eyes. Simplify.
• Participate in new physical and mental activities to improve confidence levels and coping mechanisms. Building confidence could be as easy as learning the meanings of new words, learning about new topics or if you are right-handed using instead your left hand more frequently (left hand connects with more spiritual, intuitive and creative right side of the brain).
• Follow the principles of holistic health - enlightened body, speech and mind in harmony (better nutrition and exercise appear to be associated with positive mood and attitude)
• Remember that the mainstream media focuses on information that leads to attachment to fear, negative thoughts and emotion. Perhaps instead focus on positive things to do with your precious moments.
• Learn to communicate your needs more effectively. For example, instead of using common language of subordination expressed by such words as "no", "don't", "should", "stop", "good", "bad" and "have", you could instead try expressing your needs by stating "I need you to...". This peaceful language expresses needs and does not judge. For more on this refer to the book Non Violent Communication.
• Perhaps our words on How to Thrive may prove beneficial on your journey to wellness.

Decide to Have a Positive Day!

Our inner critic is the internal voice of negative judgmental self talk. It is the nagging feeling, the inner voice that makes us critical of ourselves and others.

We learn to be critical of ourselves as we learn to march to the drummer of others wants and needs, we learn to be critical of others when they do not conform to what we want or expect.

The inner critic speaks loudly in judgment of ourselves and others. It is a voice that yearns to castigate. It is the voice of enslavement to our egos and to the wants of others.

Sometimes our inner critic will leave us with feelings of self doubt; sometimes it will allow us to feel negative and critical of others. When we listen to our inner critic, we listen to negativity that separates us from our best self and others.

Our best personal and professional selves come from a place of self love and acceptance. When we can truly love and accept ourselves we can also see those in our world as collaborators on our path of personal learning. Love is a path which brings us closer to the seed of creation and to a place where we can grow, learn and to share joy with others.

We are all partners on a human journey, and the greatest challenge in our roadmap to personal and professional success is to cleave to our humanity, to the values of sharing and caring that make us brothers and sisters on the road of life.

Take a day this week to stomp out the voice of your inner critic; to free yourself from self imposed negativity and judgment.

Silence all criticism and negativity for 24 hours. Concentrate only on the good in yourself and in others that you meet and interact with. Give the inner critic a day off, and in so doing spend a day with your highest, greatest and best self.
By Irene Segal justcoachit.com

Self-Help:

There are many teachings in the self help category, including the character building messages of mainstream religions. (Interestingly enough, focus on overall self-improvement may inevitably be accompanied by thoughts of selflessness.) Below are positive attitude affirmations.

• I will think of myself as successful!
• I will have positive expectations for everything I do!
• I will remind myself of past successes!
• I will not dwell on failures, I simply will not repeat them!
• I will associate with positive people and ideas!
• I will maintain positive thoughts for others!
• I will persist until I achieve results!
• I will let myself feel love and joy!

Self-Awareness:

Whereas self-help is focused on enhancing the apparent "I", Self-realization is a seeing through what appears to be, including the "I". Whichever is your journey, all is as it is. Life can lead beyond imagination. Enjoy!

Many classics open the mind, such as the Tao Te Ching, Dhammapada, Bhagavad Gita, Gospel of Thomas and numerous others. Below are some modern examples of literature associated with radical self-realization. You ready for this?

• Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom
  Joyful Wisdom identifies the sources of our unease, describes methods of meditation that enable us to transform our experience into deeper insight, and applies these methods to common emotional, physical, and personal problems. The result is a work at once wise, anecdotal, funny, informed, and graced with the author’s irresistible charm. read more

• No Man is an Island
  Thomas Merton, trappist monk, provides meditations on spiritual life, beginning with his classic treatise "Love Can Be Kept Only by Being Given Away." This sequel to Seeds of Contemplation provides fresh insight into silence and solitude, while also underscoring the importance of community and the deep connectedness to others that is the inevitable basis of the spiritual life—whether one lives in solitude or in the midst of a crowd. read more
• No Self, No Problem
  No Self, No Problem is about how to realize the ultimate meaning of life in each moment by seeing through all notions of ego identity. It asks that spiritual seekers wake up to their true nature, which is already enlightened. This easy-to-read book discusses in simple but profound and inspiring language how we can live a life full of love, satisfaction, and happiness. read more
• Spiritual Teaching of Ramana Maharshi
  The renowned Indian sage Ramana Maharshi is beloved by Buddhists, Hindus, Christians, and Taoists alike for the inspirational power of his teachings, which transcend all religious differences. Teaching topics include work and renunciation, silence and solitude, peace and happiness, and the discipline of self-inquiry. Reading this book, presented in question-and-answer format, evokes the feeling of being with this outstanding teacher at one of his intimate teaching sessions. read more